Bush Family Table Talk

Sherman Yellen
Posted September 22, 2007

"America's Grandma," Barbara Bush, is at it again. No, she is no longer advising us that half-drowned African American's who survived Katrina should be comfortable in their distress because they are accustomed to living in squalor, today she is offering up advice on how to raise our children - based I suppose upon her great success in raising hers. She is a public advocate for gathering one's family around the dinner table for conversation, assuring us in her new TV ad that this very act of togetherness will prevent our children from becoming alcoholics and drug abusers. This, from the mother of George and Neil and Jeb??? The first being a former drug abuser and alcoholic, the second a principal figure in an S&L banking scandal that cost the country billions, and the third complicit in the stealing of elections for his brother, which nearly cost the country the country. Can there be no end to Republican Chutzpah?

Early last week we were told by the very people who abused decorated Vietnam hero Max Cleland and John Kerry that the MoveOn ad about the packaged testimony of General Petraeus was an assault upon our military, and now we are to take the advice of the mother of one of America's most dysfunctional families. Momma Bush I fear has more in common with Ma Barker, the notorious mother of a criminal gang of the 1930's than she does with Whistler's mother, or your mother, or mine, assuming that our mother's did not raise a criminal cabal.

Can you imagine that table talk in the family manse in Maine? "Georgie, little Herbie down the street stuck out his tongue at Daddy, and I think he stole our newspaper from the front lawn last week, so I want you to go over to his house and set it on fire. After you've finished with your shock and awe assignment I want you to occupy his property indefinitely. We can't be safe in our lovely American home until you do it - after all, he might do more than make faces at Daddy in the future. He may come over here and pee on the rose bushes."

There had to be a lot of fine talk at that particular dinner table. It never ceases to amaze me that Barbara and Laura, those public advocates for education and reading always confuse literacy with Republican morality, which includes fear mongering, accusations of treason, innuendo about the opponent's patriotism, and creatively vicious name calling. "Now how do you spell traitor, Georgie? A hint. There are two t's in it, not in the middle but at the beginning and at the end"

I would rather take advice from an illiterate mother in the Brazilian rain forest who struggles to keep her family alive than from such women. Mother's of America unite. You don't need your kids sitting daily at the dinner table for them to grow into good men and women. Indeed most mothers are working mothers and they are more concerned about feeding their kids than seating them at family discussions - a lovely thing, and a luxury more easily afforded by two parent households, but alas, almost gone with the fifties. Forced to sit at the dinner table they will only be playing with some computer game on their laps as you lecture them.

Decent kids grow up by example, your example of decency and generosity, not by hectoring or lecturing. And they grow up to be good citizens if given the chance of good public health care and good public schools, something you don't talk about much in your world. Why, why, that would be "socialized opportunity!" I can only imagine the example set by Ma Bush on those long ago Maine summers, as they sat around that dinner table. All that talk about "us" and "them." And all of us "thems" - which means most of America - have grievously suffered from it.

What happens in Vegas . . . . .

The 2007 Rte. 66 Rendevous - a new entry!!!

This was just too good to pass up!!!

I think they really mean it!!!

Painfully funny!!!

Poor Bill

Whatever credibility Bill Clinton had left is slowly dissipating.

Comparing the Iraq War to Vietnam is like comparing apples and oranges

Steve Irwin meets Ross the Intern - priceless!!

Jay Leno had a segment where he sent his intern, Ross, out for an adventure with Steven Irvin - the Crocodile Hunter. The initial look on Steve's face is priceless. Then when he just goes with the flow, the turn of events is absolutely hilarious.

Archives of Political Cartoons

For anyone who knows who Ann Richards was, you will understand this cartoon. If you never heard of her, you missed out on alot. This was a Texan through and through. She had served as a governor of Texas. She spoke her mind and you always knew what she was thinking. She was not one to mince words, colorful as they were. No matter what side of the political line you took, she was a person who was respected by all.

The ultimate drunk driving test!!

Yup - they broke the mold when he was created!!

The one and only "Moon Doggie"!

WHEN YOU ARE IN DEEP TROUBLE, LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and SAY NOTHING.

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards, Wal-Mart

Paris Hilton loses inheritance

July 30, 2007 02:16pm
Article from: The Daily Telegraph

PARTY princess Paris Hilton is $60 million out of pocket after her billionaire grandfather - appalled by her jail term for drink-driving offences - axed her inheritance.
Family patriarch Barron Hilton was already embarrassed by his granddaughter's wild behaviour - notably when her home sex video was leaked on the internet.

But the 79-year-old considered her 23-day sentence last month the last straw.

"He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris," says Jerry Oppenheimer, who wrote a biography of the clan called House Of Hilton.

"He now doesn't want to leave unearned wealth to his family."

Hilton senior, the only member of the family left with a sizeable stake in the huge hotel chain, has let it be known that he intends to donate to charity the $2.4bn he will gain from this month's sale of the company to private equity firm Blackstone.

The money will go to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, the charity set up in the name of the founder of the family business.

What a shame - now she will have to get a real job - or maybe her Mommy and Daddy will make sure their "American Princess" will continue to live the live of a princess by kicking in the $$$s.

But good for Grandpa Barron Hilton! At least this is one Hilton who has some real sense of responsibility!

Profound thoughts from George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

McDonald's sued in China for not using Chinese

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese lawyer has sued McDonald's in China for using mostly English, not Chinese, on its receipts, violating his right to information, media reported on Friday.

The lawyer, identified only as Shan, decided to take legal action against the world's largest restaurant chain after he ate at two McDonald's restaurants in Beijing in May and June.

"McDonald's offers food service in China, but it does not use Chinese, which violates the consumers' right to know," the Beijing Youth Daily quoted Shan as saying.

I agree - this McDonalds is in China and the entire menu is in Chinese. The people who work there are Chinese. They are in China and the receipts should be in Chinese. I would not expect anything less.

And now from the other side of the fence . . .

Found this in a local letter to the editors this morning.

If the trailer trash from Arkansas wins the presidency in 2008, will they return the furniture, china and silverware they purloined the first time around?

Quite an enterprising guy!

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway offramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day. Jose says, "Look at your sign."

It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support"

Carlos looks at Jose's sign.

It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"

Oursourced Techie!

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The personnel manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words yellow, pink and green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready." The manager said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for phone problems. No doubt you have tried to converse with him.

Phil Spector's continuously bad hair

I swear, don't people take a good long look at themselves in the mirror before they leave the House? Gotta admit, the last two 'dos are better than the first, but he needs someone with an ounce of sanity to advise him on his hair!